Happy Birthday To Woody Allen!

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I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
- Woody Allen

Happy Birthday To Woody Allen!

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
-Woody Allen

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen

I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
-Woody Allen

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
-Woody Allen

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
-Woody Allen

Happy Birthday Woody!!!

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
-Woody Allen

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
-Woody Allen

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
-Woody Allen

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
-Woody Allen

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
- Woody Allen